X-Men 3: The Last Stand

This review about sums up my feelings on this movie. By the way, stick through the credits for a surprise.

It wasn't a bad movie by any means but it wasn't near as good as the previous two movies. There was a lot going on in this movie and they didn't really go anywhere with any of it. I was disappointed by that aspect. Also, why the heck was Xavier such a crotchety old man? He's supposed to be a genius. He wouldn't yell at Wolverine like that unprovoked. He would have known Wolverine didn't do anything. That really pissed me off.

I know this movie got quite a bit of the comic stuff wrong. The entire Phoenix saga is wrong. I never did like the Phoenix story, or understand it. While I did understand it this time, I didn't like how they implemented it. It just struck me as bad storytelling. I also didn't like that they made Juggernaut a mutant (when he ran into that wall, he would have gone through as he'd be unaffected) and didn't say anything about him being Xavier's brother.

Overall, though, I was completely enthralled. I wanted to see the story through and believed in most of the characters. I'm in love with Hugh Jackman. Kelsey Grammar was pretty damn good as Beast. Give me more Colossus! Kitty Pryde was cute. I still think Storm needs to be recast as I haven't liked her from the beginning (watching the first X-men movie extra scenes, she has a really bad accent and that "what happens when a toad is struck by lightening, the same thing that happens to everything else" line is the worst bit of writing I've ever seen) The effects were great. Story decent. But when it was done, I just felt incomplete.

3 of 5. I think it gets that high just because I'm a geek and like the x-men.

The Ringer

Johnny Knoxville attempts to rig the Special Olympics so he can win some money for various reasons. The reasons don't matter as the entire set-up is dumb.

This movie had comedic gold written all over it. What better set up for some stupid, physical comedy? If only it had lived up to that promise by even the slightest fraction. The movie falls apart from the outset with so many jokes falling completely flat or being far too easily predictable.

The movie is not offensive as some would think by its topic. Knoxville's character goes out of his way early on to correct his uncle on perceptions of the Olympic participants. The movie portrays these athletes quite well and they do offer the most humor in the movie (sadly, if you've seen the previews, that's all you need to see).

The entire plot was entirely too simplistic and predictable. If you want any suspense, stop reading now. But the "surprises" aren't worth the cost of the movie. Glen, who also appeared in Galaxy Quest, is obviously not challenged in reality like the other actors. And there's no point for his character to be in the movie other than to win the Olympics in the end, which he does. The love story between Knoxville and Katherine Heigl (who was so much hotter in Roswell, which was the worst TV series ever) is entirely pointless.

1 of 5. A few laughs but otherwise worthless.

Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe

A well-made and beautiful movie that really isn't all that interesting.

I assume most people know the plot: kids into wardrobe, meet the witch, she wants them dead, go go gadget lion.

Overall, the movie wasn't that impressive. It was a well-made movie, though. The visuals were stunning, the effets great and the soundtrack was fantastic. The acting was even quality. I just wasn't interested in the plot. Maybe that's my problem. I recently read the books. Those didn't catch my imagination either. They are children's books. This is a movie based upon a child's book. It kept to the simplistic plot of that book. Maybe had I been more attached to them as a child, rather than really reading them at 24, the movie would have been better. As it stands, I could have cared less. I mean, Harry Potter is supposedly a childrens book but I find that highly fascinating. It can't be about me not suspending my disbelief. I fully accepted magic, travel between worlds without any passage of time and talking animals. I just didn't care about the movie.

I think part of my problem is the characters are all so 2-D. They showed just one side and never grew at all. Susan was a complete, cold-hearted bitch. The only worthwhile or interesting thing she did in the entire movie was shoot the dwarf. She kept yelling at everyone, haranging Peter and always saying everything was a bad idea.

Lucy was an obnoxious little pratt who happened to look like a pig (her nose was already upturned). She was likely a simpleton (not in the same way SouthernCanadian is). A true dimwit.

Peter was just completely lame. What a boring character.

Edmund was the only one to show any growth at all. He learned lessons and you could see it. I didn't see it in anybody else.

I really wasn't convinced by these characters. I'm not convinced they'd make good kings and queens. I mean Lucy is going to gush anytime she sees a shiny object and cry anytime a bug is crushed. She'll be so distracted that nothing will get done. At the end, Peter asks Ed, "When are you going to start doing what you're told?" Ed should have replied, "When you start telling me the right thing to do." Peter had not done anything right in the movie. Every time he wielded a sword it looked like he was about to lose his own arm.

Overall, though, it wasn't a bad movie by any means. It was just average. As I said, it was very well done but I simply was not entrhalled by it. I wasn't in a rush for it to end like some bad movies. The soundtrack was phenomonal. I usually don't pay attention to that but I couldn't help but notice it. It was that good.

2.5 of 5. Just average.