Pooh's Heffalump Movie

How can you go wrong with Winnie the Pooh and a purple, British elephant?

The residents of 100-acre-woods are roused from their sleep one morning by a distant trumpeting noise. Everyone rushes off to Rabbit's for an explanation. Here, they stumble across large footprints which they recognize as the fearsome Heffalump's. So begins the Heffalump expedition which is expected to be highly dangerous. Sadly, the "grown ups" won't allow Roo to come along though he is the only one able to perform any of the training. So he sneaks away on his own. Who finds the Heffalump? Roo, of course, who then discovers that both sides of the fence have some learning to do about the other and things aren't always what they appear.

I watched this one just because I wanted to see a British elephant (thank you HWV screener DVD). At the end of this movie I felt happy. It was cutesy and adorable and funny. Nobody pays attention to Eyor despite him carrying the contents of the 100-acre woods on his back. Piglet goes around planting little piglet seeds (so they're pink jelly beans but they look like what piglet probably did at one point). Yes, it is a simplistic movie but the characters are funny in their simpleness. Rabbit: Sorry, Roo, you can't come. The Heffalump expedition is frought with danger. Roo: But..! Tigger: Sorry, Roo, you just can't argue with a word like "frought." Of course, the big payoff is seeing an elephant speak with a British accent.

3.5 of 5. A feel-good time. It made me so happy. And it's only an hour long.

Team America: World Police

Team America saves the world time and again from the evil terrorists.

I'm not even going to go into the plot of this one. It doesn't matter. The whole thing is a giant farce of everything. Just know that puppets try to stop terrorists.

The South Park guys are geniuses. If you think that show and this movie are simply potty humor I have no respect for you. There's a lot more into these things. They mock Republicans, Democrats and actors. They leave nothing un-made-fun-of. There are great songs ("Montage" and "Pearl Harbor" are my favorites). My roommate was watching parts of it with me (his second time) and I was pointing out some of the more clever things he missed the first time. The only downfall of this movie is the sex scene. Other than that a very enjoyable movie.

4.25 of 5. Loved it. Was so much fun and hilarious.

Death to Smoochy

The true ugly under belly of kids TV is exposed in this film. No, it's not a documentary just a fun take on what goes on behind the scenes.

Rainbow Randolph (Robin Williams) is busted by the Feds and loses his show. The TV execs want somebody totally clean so they find Ed Norton's Smoochy. Ed is a total moral pillar: healthy foods, clean messages, nothing dirty, etc. The TV world tries to take advantage of him but he'll have none of it. Now everybody is out to kill him, including Rainbow Randolph for taking his time slot.

The movie is very off the wall and weird but somehow remains funny. I'm not sure Robin Williams is a fit for his character but Norton is good. The other characters that make appearances are entertaining as well. Plus, it has midgets and when can you go wrong with little people? The movie is funny so long as you remember it's a parody of kids TV. At no point should you take it seriously.

3 of 5. It's odd and off the wall and quite possibly worth a rent (especially a free rental).

SpongeBob SquarePants

Entertaining kids flick of underwater proportions.

SpongeBob wakes up one morning dreaming of a managment promotion only to be shafted and told he's too immature. He then offers to save the King's crown and goes on a quest with Patrick. Hilarity ensues.

It's SpongeBob so it's dumb. But it's so dumb it's funny. I've never really watched the Sponge so I probably didn't appreciate it as much as others. I got kind of bored with the movie. The plot was very predictable since it's a kids' movie but you don't always know what Spongebob and Patrick are going to do to get there. Scarlett Johansson is not a voice actress and her performance as the daughter of the King is very lacking and unconvincing.

2.75 of 5. Again, just above average. Probably my own fault for not knowing Squarebob that well.

Mr. 3000

A predictable baseball movie starring Bernie Mac.

Mac was a baseball player for the Brewers when he got 3000 hits. Thinking that was an automatic entry into the Hall of Fame, Mac retires. Ten years later it is discovered that he didn't have 3000 hits and his hopes of entering the Hall begin fading very quickly. He signs up with the last place Brewers in the middle of the season to get his hits.

It's a predictable sports movie where Mac learns some life lessons while teaching the young 'uns on the team how to be a team. It's not the typical worst to first story since they don't even try for first, it's impossible. They just go for 3rd place (very likely over the Cubs). Mac is funny. He's always entertaining so that's a plus. Some of the other characters are very likable and entertaining as well. Several others are blase and you have no care about them.

2.75 of 5. Above average due to humor.

Hitch

A date doctor has a few problems with his own dating and then gets outed as the date doctor. Will love conquer all? Yes, it does get that cheesy.

Will Smith helps guys get in with girls. His formula or whatever he uses, works for those guys. Then he finds a woman he's genuinely interested in with Eva Mendes. Things don't go as well for him. Eva then finds out that he is the date doctor and feels like she's been manipulated. Smith needs to make a self-realization and then win her back.

Movie follows the typical formula: guy meets girl; guy and girl like each other; things go well; guy screws something up; girl gets mad; guy needs redemption. There's nothing new there. And there's not a whole lot new with the movie. There aren't many clever moments in the movie. Kevin James has some good moments as Smith's student. Smith and Mendes have some good moments. The entire movie was pretty much in the previews.

2.75 of 5 shrubs. Slightly above average. Not near as bad as "How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days" since the dialouge wasn't nearly as predictable.

Boogeyman

A horror movie about the Boogeyman being real. Turns out to be a bad concept.

Whatever the main character's name is loses his dad when he's really young. The boogeyman takes him. For the next 15 years he's in therapy and terrified of closets and scary places. The story he is told is that his dad left. His mom dies so he has to go back home and decides to go through the old house which has been mostly abandoned. He confronts the boogeyman again.

Truthfully, the movie did have us creeped out for most of the time. That's a good sign. But then the final 20 minutes totally ruin the movie. They show the freakin' bad guy. That's not so bad but it's so horribly done. He looks like a poorly animated version of the Mummy (the Brendan Fraser movies). Very very poorly animated. The effects suck here. I'm going to ruin the movie it's so bad. It turns out that the main character created the monster. His mom always said he had a vivid imagination. Evidently enough so that he could create the monster. the Boogeyman is made up a scary figurine he has, a crow hanging from his ceiling, one of those wool hoodies and an electric ball thinger. Once he destroys those things, the monster goes away. This is horrible because kids actually did disappear for the past 15 years. We never find out what happens to them or anything.

.5 of 5 shrubs. Do not see. This movie sucked. Good concept but they can't pull it off.

Hero

Very similar to Crouching Tiger, good story and some good fights.

Jet Li is a nameless prefect in the Qin kingdom. The Qin king is trying to unite all the Chinese lands into one kingdom. He's viewed as a tyrant by many. Li tells a story of how he eliminated the most dangerous assassins ever heard of.

I really liked the story of the movie and the fight scenes can be really fantastic. It's full of cinematic goodness and some artsy type scenes. However, I get really tired of the supernatural flying about, dancing in trees and on the water aspects. for some reason, those type of things annoy the hell out of me.

3 of 5 shrubs. Very good if you're into the Crouching Tiger genre. I mostly enjoyed the plot.

I Heart Huckabees

Very original, hilarious movie imbued with some philosphy.

Albert is concerned about some coincidences he's had in his life so he goes to some transcendental detectives (Lily Tomlin and Dustin Hoffman [in a very bad hairpiece]). Hilarity ensues. Hoffman tries to teach him that all of the universe is connected. He meets up with his other, played by Mark Whalberg, who's on a major crusade to end the need for oil (a noble cause indeed). Albert is also in conflict with his job. He works trying to preserve open spaces while an evil company, Huckabees, tries to buy up every piece of property. Albert runs a group to protect the land. He gets ousted by Jude Law. In all this mess, another, competing transcedentalist shows up who confuses and converts Albert and Wahlberg. Jude Law gets involved more. Funny situations abound.

This was absolutely hilarious. I was laughing from the outset until the very end. There are all kinds of little remarks made everywhere as well as blatant humorous hitting each other in the face with a big rubber ball. There is also good social commentary and philosophy. It does have some "artsy" feel to it and is slightly weird but is really entertaining. Hoffman is always good. Wahlberg is hilarious.

4.5 shrubs of 5. Quality, quality movie.

Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle

An entertaining, mostly-mindless flick involving lots of marijuana and stupidity.

Harold and Kumar (MILF-kid from American Pie and Van Wilder's assistant, respectively) live in an apartment together and are harassed by many jokers, pranksters and idiots. Harold is dumped on at work and Kumar has no goals in life but to sit on the couch and smoke weed. After one such session they decide to head to White Castle to curb their munchies only to find it no longer exists. They then head on a 45 mile trek to find the nearest one only to be sidetracked continuously in search of more pot and girls.

The movie is pretty much what you'd expect. One guy keeps getting crazy ideas and can't be talked out of them by the other. The movie is made up of mostly stupid humor and whacky situations. There is a bit more with some race issues and a couple other social issues. Overall, it's really entertaining. There are a multitude of cameos included that are worthwhile. Van Wilder and Doogie Howser are the prominent ones. The movie works because most of the humorous scenarios are done well, not taken too far to no longer be funny. Though formulaic, some of the methods are new in the humor.

3.5 shrubs of 5. Funny, entertaining, alright movie. Worth a watch with some friends.

Looney Tunes: Back in Action

Fun, feel good movie. Classic Looney Tunes.

Brendan Fraser is a security guard, wannabe stunt man at Warner Brothers. Daffy Duck gets fired. They team up to find the Blue Monkey Diamond with Bugs Bunny and Jenna Elfman assisting. Steve Martin runs the evil Acme Corporation and is trying to get it himself. Hilarity ensues.

This was a very fun movie to watch. This is a movie where they do the small things right. They don't try too hard to be funny and throw all kinds of one-liners, side comments and cameos in for good times. And the cameos are awesome. From actors (Matthew Lillard, Ron Perlman) to cartoons (Foghorn Leghorn, Scooby Doo) to famous people (Jeff Gordon) to cultural references (Lost in Space, Dr. Who, Pod People). The story is a bit contrived and predictible but it's at least fun and entertaining.

3.75 shrubs of 5. If you're a fan of Looney Tunes you should easily enjoy this.

Employee of the Month

Dull, highly predictable movie. Not worth the hour and a half.

David Walsh (Matt Dillon) works at a bank and has a pretty good life. He's getting married and is having his review which everyone expects him to do well at. He gets fired and the wedding gets called off in a single day. He goes back to the bank the next day for his final work day but brings a gun. It takes an hour to get this far. The next half an hour is where the "surprises" occur but you're not really surprised. I won't ruin it for you anyway.

The movie is dull. You never really care for any character, minus the strippers everywhere. They're all flat and lifeless except maybe Steve Zahn's who plays Dillon's best friend. But even he is annoying. They're some interesting cinematography but it doesn't enhance anything. There is a plethora of unnecessary crap in the movie that makes it far longer than is needed. The whole thing is uninspiring and drags on. They kept trying to surprise you but they used too much foreshadowing throughout the movie.

1 of 5 shrubs. Not worth it. Don't bother.

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead (1990)

Pretty entertaining take on Hamlet. Heavy in the Shakespearean language and references. Gets a bit confusing.

Ever wondered what went on with Rosencrantz and Guildenstern during all of Hamlet? Well, you won't really know from watching this since those two don't really know what's going on around them. The movie starts with the two of them on horseback flipping coins and debating life and philosophy. They don't know their names, what happened that day or what's going on. They meet up with a play troupe and suddenly they're at the Denmark castle. There, they really don't know what's going on and muddle their way through things. The rest of it follows Hamlet with the addition of the play troupe entering and trying to explain to R & G what's going on.

Things get a bit convoluted in this movie. The language a bit dense and they talk rather quickly so it can be hard to follow. When you do understand it, the banter is really entertaining. It sticks close to the Shakespearean playing with words style so characters converse using the same words but talking about 2 completely different things. It's also fun to watch Rosencrantz discover basic theories of life such as gravity, probability, displacement and paper airplanes.

3.25 shrubs of 5. Lower due to it's hard to follow nature. Pretty funny movie, though.

Be Cool

Not a bad movie, nothing spectacular, though. Enjoyable at parts but overall kind of dull.

Travolta's character wants out of the movie industry to get into the music biz. When his buddy is killed in a hit, Travolta takes over. Somehow some Russians, Cedric the Entertainer and Vince Vaughn all end up wanting him dead but all are killing each other.

This movie has some very funny parts. Vince Vaughn is always good though he gets a bit annoying. The Rock is awesome here. He's just so funny playing a gay bodygaurd/singer/actor. Uma is nothing in particular. Her part is just kind of blase. Travolta will probably go down like Shatner as another over-actor. While decent, at parts he's a bit melodramatic. The story has a few clever parts but it gets repetitive and drags on. Probably could have been shorter and been more enjoyable.

2.75 shrubs of 5. Slightly better than average. The funny saves it from being dreadful.

The Green Butchers

Absolutely hilarious. Those Danes know how to make a good movie. Have to watch it with subtitles but it's good.

Two idiots work for a butcher. They don't get along with him and open their own shop. They accidental freeze and kill their electrician in the meat locker. One panics and sells the meat. The people love it. Hilarity ensues.

I loved it. Starts off flipping hilarious, gets a little serious (still good) and ends with hilarity again. The two main characters are idiots. More idiots are introduced. It's a great movie. Good, funny dialogue. Decent story. Funny characters.

4 of 5 shrubs. fantastically funny.

Batman Begins

So I won't just do rental movies but the few movies I get to in theaters.

This movie was so damn awesome. It's better than the originals. It's more about Bruce becoming Batman than about the villians. Great, great movie.

Bruce Wayne is trying to find himself. His parents were killed and he blames himself. He wants revenge but does not have the means. He learns them.

This was a fantastic time. Despite not knowing the Batman story that well (the comic origins) this just felt right. This movie was superbly done. Acting (except maybe Katie Holmes but even she wasn't bad), writing, filmmaking all were supreme. Michael Caine is an awesome Alfred. It's got funny parts, good bits of action and a great story.

4.5 shrubs of 5. Go see this movie.

Pauly Shore is Dead

Mildly amusing. Lots of celebrities.

Pauly Shore has had enough of being the butt and nobody liking him. So in order to remain famous, he fakes his death. But he gets busted.

The concept is interesting but it really goes nowhere. It's not all that funny with the plot or writing but what saves it is all the celebrity appearances. Especially good are those who make fun of themselves. Examples include Tom Sizemore and Tommy Lee. Also, not having seen many Pauly Shore movies and his stint on Mtv being before my time, I didn't get all the references. Could be a problem.

2 shrubs of 5. Watch with some friends and have a go at it.

Sideways

Critics called a comedic genuis or the funniest movie of the year. They're wrong.

Movie is about 2 buddies going on a week-long winte tasting trip through CA in order to celebrate Jack's wedding on the coming Saturday. Miles is the depressed novelist/teacher who loves wine and is still working off his divorce from a year or two ago. Jack is the guy getting married and more of the wild guy. Jack intends to get laid and get Miles's mind off his "problems."

The movie is not really funny at all. There are a few funny parts, mostly just a scene involving the duo golfing. Maybe it's funny if you know anything about wine since that's all about anybody talks about. It's not a bad movie. The plot is kind of intriguing and the acting is pretty good. The ending is probably why the movie was nominated for awards since it's kind of different...kind of.

Overall, not bad. 2.5 shrubs of 5. It kills over 2 hours of your time, though it may feel like more.